"Hello and Goodbye" Sunday, July 17, 2005 and Tue., 26

careening through past present and future thoughts. composure is the key to denial. denial of uncontrollable existence and non-existence. we are nothing but humans. we make mistakes till our dying day when we finally accomplish one goal without mistake in one single moment. this is one of two accomplishments that we do perfectly. this accomplishment is death. and on this day i find myself before the alter of balance for the only day where one can (stand it) do something close to as well as today is the first day of his life. to be born is to accept death and so i find myself on the verge of a light in dark as the phone speaker will soon be haphazardly guided down my cheek. we've known that it was coming but how easy we forget. humans have all the beautiful qualities conceivable and obtainable by a being but we take for-granted too easily what life is. maybe from this i'll realize every present that passes by. every moment is not the last for the last will not be one that i realize because there will not be another later from which to reminisce about past pleasures and pains. once this painful becoming earns the place in my heart, the thought in my mind that no other becoming moment has, i may or may not find something new. regardless though, this will be a sad new something.