born in the USA! born.. in the USA!

little rock, arkansas

that sliver quick accomplishment of death may or may not be the definition of a single moment

YUP YUP

my face hurts from smiling so much:):):):):)

i sit here smiling. my eyes go up to find the sky and back down maintaining the same smile. you caught me at a great time! i mean seriously! the only greater time that you could've caught me at was last night! i had such a great time! uhhh, let me tell you about it. i went to have pizza with some italian friends of mine. i met one girl at a bar the other day with a friend of hers from mexico named pati and another friend whose name i cannot remember for the life of me even though we've hung out speradically three times since we met. anyway, i walk up to the door in a back ally street (which are every where), these that you think of and dream of before you come you know. the really thin streets with the buildings that look like they're falling on top of you if you look up. but they're not this kind of new york megalomassive (that is not a word) buidlings. actually, most buildings here don't go higher than 5, 6, 7, and usually not more than 8 floors. i call up and my friend, italian girl named martina, says that she'll open up for me. then a nice looking blonde girl walks up and says, do you want to get in in spanish? i said, well sure. my friend lives upstairs. she said, oh who, maybe i know her. i thought maybe for a second this was a test but i didn't care because i did know her and she was not interagative in any sense of the word. she was totally nice. i said i know martina. she said, ohhh. i share a flat with her. i said woah! nope. i didn't. but my mind did. so we walked and talked and went up the stairs and then i met some german/dutch/scandinavians that were there neighbors of theirs. i don't know to tell you because we went in passing so i didn't have enough time to figure it out but i believe that i heard them speak german. but apparently everybody in their building knows each other and a lot of them are erasmus! they have parties all the time and hang out. oh man. so cool! well, i got up stairs and there were my italian girls making pizza, speaking a mixture of italian and castilian mostly but maybe some english snuck in there too. probably not though since martina doesn't speak. elena does though, really well lol:). she speaks many things really well i.e. castilian, italian, english, and she speaks french but i don't know how well that is that she speaks it. upon entering i met another martina who the french girl that led me in introduced me to because she thought that was the martina i was talking about. nope. i could tell because this martina was dutch. lol:). but it was cool to meet her and her friends anyway. sabina was one of them that i think caught a fancy of me :). she was nice. i was just happy to be talking with people and meeting them and shaking their hands and things. and the two kisses too!:) i really like that a lot. there's no way that an italian or a spaniard will ever miss on the two kisses with a person. i feel like that would be so bad but let's not talk about that because ehh. no. anyway, they really like their two kisses which i do too. their apartment was so cool! it was super old and not well kept up persay but not unwell kept either. i loved it! it was run down in a lot of serious ways but all those ways were actually pretty cool because it was brick and i don't know. it was just cool.:) we ate pizza and hung out and spoke spanish, english, dutch, italian, and french and they had tuna pasta and i had fun just being in the room with them. later, after the dutch girls left and i had been sure to exchange numbers with one of them telling her that she should call me when they go out and things, they decided to smoke some joints that they had rolled. we got stoned!:) oh man, high speaking spanish is great! and when you're with a bunch of italians and they're speaking italian and you're stone, it's great! you start to think about the origins of language and the movements of language and the way humans are animals that have specific ways of sounding particular to their regions and how interesting it is that they make different sounds and i wonder why that is that they make different sounds. oh man, so cool. especially with italian because, as we say in castilian, cantan cuando hablan. you know what i mean? i love that. what a cool translation, they sing when they speak. in english i might normally say, they have a really cool dynamic in the way they speak. that just doesn't do it like they sing when they speak. and by a while into the night i started to wonder if maybe i was singing a little bit too because the main languages of our conversation had without any real notice, shifted to spanish and italian. i understood the italian sometimes. i wondered if i was singing a little bit like them but in castilian. who knows. probably. then my mom called... . . . we all laughed as i laughed and said that i was not going to answer. the french and the only spanish girl (HOTT as you might say) and her boy friend, i assume, disappeared. don't know where too but all of a sudden they were gone. well i knew where the novios went. into the bed room.:) anyway, all at once we decided to leave the house and we all got up at the same time. we all walked out and walked one girl that was there, i believe she was uruguaya. she spoke a little differently which i enjoyed. i wondered how people could speak like that and i thought, argentinians speak a little like that and then i thought, venezuelans have their own accent then i thought about wisconsinites having their own accent. yeah, something like that. we all had fun laughing together. i can still picture their faces. then, after we took our uruguayan friend home, we, i though, were going to go to a bar, but instead what we did was great! in a sense it was much better, yeah, i think believe so. i use believe because i belieeeeve.:D yup, i can use the D mouth full of teeth smiley here. yup. i'm smiling right now. what?:);) oh man, i feel great. anyway, instead of going to the bar, we did this thing which was most probably greater, we went to a street side bench and the mixture of italians stood on it and i thought about how really short they were. lol:). i typically what you would think to be italian. they stood on the bench and i was still taller than them by a good amount. even the guy. at one point i noticed this major difference in height and i felt interested and weird about it for a little while and i was going to say something but then i didn't because i didn't want to go down that path of conversation. anyway, we just sat on this bench for probably an hour or so or more, maybe two. we talked and talked and laughed and everyone in a while my eyes would be drawn slighly down and away from their faces and tremendously amazing hand gestures and i would just listen to their voices. just listening to their voices and looking at the side of the barcelona street. this brought home the truth of the situation. i was sitting on a bench, having an amazingly beautiful time with a bunch of italians that i had met and a mexican friend of my friend elena. SO AMAZING! SO FUCKING AMAZING! it felt so good. and i felt so at home. everyonce in a while i would look slightly down and away to remind myself of what this was and how amazing this was and how amazingly cool it was. this i did as i wound down and thought about going home too. i stayed though, and this proved to be the wisest decision because after not long my friend elena said, what time is it? 2 something. oh, it's getting late. yup. okay. should we go. i said yup. and there were other simultaneous interactions going on. we all got up, all at once again. i had told them about my saverous arepas (arepas sabrosas) and i told them that one day i should make them venezuelan food, arepas, and i thought maybe i'll experiment with empanadas. they said yeah and i told them that they should definitely stop by the residencia sometime to see where i live and stuff. they said siiiii. and then we found the street that would lead me home. i love knowing where i'm going in this city now! oh how i love that! and i led myself home but not before giving two kisses, left to right mind you to every lovely lady there. then i shoock hands in a really nice way with the one other guy that was left and he told me something really nice and i said something to the effect of muchisimas gracias. then i walked away and remembering, turned and said in a bit of a higher voice as a european street's worth of distance had grown between us as we walked away, Gracias por la sena! Estaba buenisima! i walked home by myself and it was the happiest walk home alone that i've had in a while. i tucked my credit card in my shoe incase someone thought it their mission to mug me or something. that didn't happen luckily. i thought about how wonderful the night was and about how i would write about it, and here i have for you. i hope you enjoyed it.:) i just want to let you know about this amazing experience. keep being amazing like you are. i miss you my friends!!!!!

death = scared of nothing

Smiles for my friends who I love and miss. You know who you are. I love you.