this is the second time i write something like this: on this topic, which is okay. it's funny, no one reads this. at least i can laugh out loud about it and no one will hear me. actually, i don't even care so laughing about it is old news. i write because i do. someone's observation of it is only something else.

ps life is really good for me right now, honestly good. i'm lost sometimes, strong is what i feel sometimes too, and i know that i'm on the right path because i'm not quite sure if i am, and if i am being everything that i can be but i think i'm getting there pretty well right now which is really refreshing and sorta feels like a back massage just thinking about it. i've grown up a lot in the last couple months. i haven't made up my mind on how i feel about it yet. i'm happy that i feel less lost than i did in the old times. these are new times. i have great friends and my path isn't set but it's really good and comfortable in some ways too. my friends are what comfort me the most. i know i have really great friends. they fit me. and mary too. she helps me a lot too. i think i should help her too but i'm not sure if i'm doing that yet. she needs it though. but she's strong and she'll be okay. i guess i'm more worried about my dad. he gets lost and it gives me the feeling that it might take him a lot longer to get better/feel better. i know he's thinking about it though: mary, and us, and what's right. i guess that's all life is about. whoever reads this, if anyone reads this, i don't know what to say. i wish you could feel what i feel in my chest. i doubt you'll be able to though, it's just hard to feel what another person is really feeling. things are good though. friends are lovely. they really help, and help life light up. i've gotta be getting off to the coop to buy ingredients for our community dinner now. i hope all is well to anyone who reads this.