premature poetic in a world unrealized

to no regrets, Sincere loving, and living rationality

can you feel my presence dancing? the smile about my face?

life--it couldn't be better : )

life is a love! cheers to friends, hugs, loves and love!

minus the bear is the theme for my life

CHEERS TO LIFE : ) WE'RE ON A CRAZY RIDE!

My Dompablo
I'm so sorry!


Love,
Katherine

to cheat on someone's soul

disowned

my voice
my heart
my mind
my name

imagery of lygia and her romanticized reality

so i say to myself, lace the leather a heads way above, and brace my heart to be drained completely of love, because side by side we're swinging in a mass suicide of two.

calm, collected

the whole-Earth worries with you

the relationship of the artist and the art work is one of the art work being as emergent in the pen's drawing as is the artist present-ing personality in every moment of realization. they're both works of art. one is just visual while one's own self as emergent personality is less tangible but still creative and still art work just the same. how can we own such a thing that's fleeting? is it not a thing at all? thus not ownable?

beauty in people like the warmth that arises in hopefullness innermost and the beauty of then and always Sincere involvement regardless of beauty apparent to us.

to wait for the value of a work of art to someday grow is mislead, primarily maybe in three ways. 1. to wait for the value, in monetary terms, of a piece of art to increase is to wait for the ends to the more important means so that the "owner" of the art can enjoy some other end outside of the enjoyment of art for its own sake as the end in itself, not as a means to an end by selling the art to purchase some other end. (but the experience of the aesthetic of the whole-Earth is an end in itself because to experience the whole-Earth is to flow with the flow of creativity of the world in experiencing the aesthetic of the whole-Earth and so way making or finding flow with the Tao of the world.) the means for which the art is ascribed value should be it's aesthetic (as symbolic and physical qualities) experience supplied by it. (but to ascribe such a value arithmetic to a piece of art as if evaluateable, and when thinking about the monetary value of art, we wonder if the value of the art can some how be understood to an ever subjective judge. and even if it is, we wonder at the site of a stack of money pile-able thus piled up and the notion of a substantively valuable piece of art and its equal valuation to the art (almost as if a metaphysical value form of the work of art, thus dissection of the whole-Earth as whole-world, wherein we cannot understand the aesthetic experience of the world or the art or Art of the world at all; or life at all for that matter). we also wonder at the notion of another piece of art exactly as valuable as another. a piece of art being "as creative" is irrelevant. a piece of art being "as valuable" in a sense makes sense in that all is equally an irreplaceable subjectivity but the irreplaceable subjectivity experience of the irreplaceable subjectivity is valuable only according to the diversity of the experience of the experiencer as irreplaceable subjectivity; and it is only the value of the irreplaceable subjectivity's experience. but what about the question of the value of currency as a means to an end? a medium for exchange with which we acquire our ends? what of the dynamic that occurs in the new mind set in American history of the currency as itself an end? what about the notion that one can work for money to buy a painting valued at a certain amount but s/he is not sufficiently self-developed or mature enough to understand the art that s/he is apparently economically mature enough to own? should economic right to art be as good as a mature person's right to a work of art because s/he might more closely interact with it in a more Sincere way? or, should art, obviously flowing in/as the world with all the freedom of the infinite possibility (thus creativity) of the present-ing moment, be allowed to flow in free interaction with every creative irreplaceable-subjectivity as the creativity of the world so creates thus the most natural artistic interaction and understanding that can take place in the world without formal and categorical divisions caused by formal metaphysics, logic, and a currency based economy in general along with a currency based purchasing system of art.) the most Sincere reason why one pays so much for a piece of art (when paying is part of that person's stage of development) is to get (but not possess itself as Sincere whole-Earth creative interaction Sincerely interplaying) the artistic high of aesthetic experience (but this experience is not understandable while attempting to be possessed.) as understood previously and to share that experience with others. to buy a painting, for example, for the purpose of waiting for it to increase in value as if stock in a stock market is to negate the Sincere aesthetic experience at it's near utmost interplay with the experiencer far along and mature in the process AND(BUT) (as the center of the sentence) to through-compose super imposed essence as capitalism (as formal definition as literal versions coming from perceived understanding) is to present the value of Art (as the creative field in general: as the whole-Earth as whole-world creativity thus (irreplaceable subjectivity) involved, so realizing aesthetic as understood previously) as a form of stock itself__ (and perhaps to be seen eventually as nothing more) (and in so doing, confusing and thus perhaps totally forgetting (so erasing the history of art and erasing art and Art as something known to be as visible to the creativity perceiving irreplaceable subjectivities) __the value of art and/or Art as aesthetic and not capitalistic now thus redefined and possibly forgotten as Sincere artistic participation in interplay and thus erasing the perceivability of the understanding of Sincere artistic participation in interplay in the world of creative flow). (is this ununity right?) 2. we cannot take for granted the necessity of the (irreplaceable subjectivities) of the whole-Earth in it's necessary process. the point at which present (present as ongoing gifting) emerged anew to its extent, it developed a dividing line between the forbearing and forth coming organic development of the world; this is the point at which the creativity of the world emerged anew and somewhat definably different. this dividing line marks the boundary between a connection with and thus realization of the flow of the world thus realizing the need to flow with the flow and thus being connected to the natural and naturally creative world. the forthcoming portion after the dividing line progressively increases in disconnection with the natural and naturally creative world. this disconnection with the natural and naturally creative (as aesthetic) world is the first official time in the known history of man that we have become disconnected in such a way. our disconnection with the natural and naturally creative world as aesthetic could be the end of our survival on this planet, not to mention the survival of other irreplaceable subjectivities. (what happens if they really are irreplaceable?)

in philosophy, the solution for the confusing nature of (self expression toward other(-as-self)-understanding with and use of) philosophical language at all is to encourage that each philosopher himself make his own language (...and these languages sometimes follow a geneological line of traditional progression moving through each other's philosophical souls).

the i can't believe it's not butters melt a little slower

dude, this is a crazy ride!

a quote for symbolic in-digging (analysis)

our lord and savior jesus does not need help in keeping people's interest

a being capable of noticing and watching as if from the perspective of 2nd person watching self as 1st person and the 1st person is watched by the 2nd person perspective as 1st person fulfills a social role.

"this is the finger print of what nature gave us" - fred

what if morals, rather then religiously or rationally authoritative, are normative value statements. maybe rational ethical abstracts (?maybe otherwise?) are a divider between humans and animals. how do we know that animals don't employ their own ethical abstracts for deciphering morality. or, maybe we shouldn't ask the question "do animals use other ethical abstracts for deciphering morality?", maybe we should try to adopt a not all to common form of contemplation of the ethical and of the world in a philosophical manner in general. i venture the proposition to visit philosophical contemplation in the meta-paradigmatic or meta-abstract mind set. in accomplishing such a form of contemplation, we may finally understand the (open ended) maybe infinite possibility of other methods of entanglement via some sort of languageing; a languageing beyond our grasp.

all that we don't experience in the spreading out of the now (think in a continuum and also in the non-spatial existence that shrinks down in our minds to literal no where location in the grand scheme of things. also think of time's inevitable boundedness to the moment as moment-as-whole-as-the-whole-of-the-part-whole-which-is-the-part literally undissectable). - looking at picture upside down and what that says about the speed of a frame of site (is site a shudder film or a continuous film?) or what can be a minutest fraction of any span of time and this experience that goes unnoticed. how many things in our experience flash to fast or too quietly to notice?

creativity shared w/ world versus creativity shared w/ world to localize social acceptance (fame) (or money, power) that diminishes when otherwise is infinite, BOUNDless creativity so we'd do better to help all to realize this boundless creativity instead of trying to appropriate the benefits of something that isn't to be yours.

might be worth something someday

creative part-whole world -- you know when in garden state when she says sometimes i move my arms (this way) to do something that no ones ever done before... she's being creative during her engagement with the world. the only difference is that she doesn't need to move her arms in some random way to be creative. there is infinite possibility in every moment because no moment and no moment's now-within-lying-manifestation(s) can ever be EXACTLY the same.

- this i realize and now i wait (for/ ) (this is the truly intimate artist-art work relationship)
- i don't really claim my art.
- initially it seems to lose appeal for the artist involved to not be able to own some-to-be-owned sort of intimacy with the art s/he creates. but the actual state of things is something equally at least intimate to the artist with her relationship with the art work. the relationship, unified in the familiarization of the part of the part-whole with the boundless self (otherwise typically thought of as part thus removable and in so being, dissectible) as the whole of the part-whole allows for a few different branches to break off with. (the recycling self showing of both the artist-in/known--to--self(actually as the world)--in--the--world-as-the-world and the world creative as it takes and recreates (thus destroying and creating with the same stroke. to move beyond would to acknowledge infinite possibility instead) with the interplay of the waves of change of each expression points creativity (in itself self-know-as(-/ )itself-know-as-field interaction thus creativity-in/as-the-moment and thus self-showing expression of creative world (like as "whole Earth") diary-ing(to be thought of as the new[new is known-to-self-as-self lasting-new for now but neither never/(nor)ever not/ lasting newness] intimate and as accurate to objective true[intended to point out the self-seen-and-so-self-understood/known as the inevidible gap to crosse before the absurd indeterministic suicide of the preluded as self-known-as-self-familiarized with self] self-diary as could have ever been[because who can know of ever been when there is only the moment's boundedness to itself as the inevitable-self-as-the-whole-in-the-as-the-self-as-the-moment and all else kin to it] written-as/in-the-world-thus-self-known))<; creativity is however possibly never more or less creative than by way of speed of creativity relative to duration of time or by the amount, that is almost material(not actually material yet creativity thus amountable as if to be piled and thus piled up as material, though all the while to be realized as material).> this too increases the imperative need for the observation (and NOT dissection understanding) as/self-understood of the self-understood (and also (of the)) as and engaged in the whole as sincere interchange of the understood creativity of the self-known-whole-as-self-known-as-the-whole) 1, where the present state of understanding of most artist's artist-art work relationship understanding only allows the self showing on the canvass to be the real (presently sincere but not necessarily static defined objective permanent truth about the only value of self showing. presently this explanation itself is a self showing of both the world and the artist in the form of her art works or you could think of it as the creative world expressing itself through an imperative, absolutely necessary part as and understood as whole in understood part-whole relationship). in the realization of the interplay of field creativity, of simultaneous self-showing-of/as-the-world and the heideggerian be-ing and knowing it thus enowned by it are "carried away.
- as you familiarize yourself with the new(actual) part whole relationship of the creative world, you are not losing your identity, you're realizing your true(i'm wary of this becoming some sort of objective truth in someone's mind). the unity of the self in the world is not one of dissection and resulting understanding of the part of the part-whole and the surface that has been cut open thus left exposed in distancing from observability of the world without knowing the whole self, the unity from which the part of the part-whole relationship has been removed. the truth is that one can never realize the concluded conclusion by dissecting for understanding of individual parts. one must know the whole to know the fully conclude-ing (not to be finished[concluded]) conclusion.

- to the really unified dual characters, the next to highest state of creative potentiality (only so because of it's position as being determined to prelude the absurd stillness (after and) by the indeterminate explosion of absurd creative frustration as the bondage of the boundedness of the self-to-the-self-as-the-self-as-the-whole composed of in part and inseparably to self-as-self-realized-as-the-whole including inevitable boundedness-to-self-as-moment) takes place in the self-as-self-realized as the self-known-as-creatively full [that is to know thy self as here (next to highest state of creativity) but not quite exactly] which is to know self as creatively full[because self-observed-in-experience-of-self-as-whole-in-wholeness-known-to-self-knowing-via-familiarization-with-self-as-world and not through dissection is the most creative art(creativity[i don't know how to define this word with the present context in mind]) of all but what is not quite the inevitable but not yet so indeterminate explosion of utmost (highest) creativity. here(in post-self-knowing-self-as-self-known-as-the-world thus the suicide of absurd indeterminacy.), self originates (as the in-abiding moment and cyclical process of self-known-as-whole thus bounded to self-as-moment-and-cyclical process) as ridiculous absurdity of self-known-where-which-indetermancy-self-did-outrageous-explosion. the explosion simply necessarily preluded by self-as-the-inabiding-cyclical process and the only question that can be is what ]


- the highest state of creativity in creative fullness is the self-known-as-creatively full

- don't hyphenate "the-self" in the above writings

something that i wrote back in feb. but i don't know if i posted it.

sometimes it is best to speak in beautiful words without regard for what they really say; with this we can paint and pitch self showingly the beauty of experience which is unnamable, yet showable.

knowledge is power? no. to be in knowing, seeking.

the cancer between us?

this is where a picture of an acid washed victim of reality would go. no, that's a lie. once again i am supremely annoyed by this.

having trouble parking in the back is like having trouble letting yourself get close.

is this place only accessible through the beauty of new love? new love that is pure in it's ability to make you stop wanting everything that you don't have. new love in pure presence of two people honestly interested in each other, not give and take but just take. new love in its ability to make you forget all the obvious problems that arise out of our cancer, human nature, or maybe just human stupidity.

is this place only accessible through the beauty of new love?

is the beautiful place that we used to hold together in our relationship, a place that we used to walk to with the most ease, now nowhere to be found? has the road and the place been lost? can we no longer connect to each other as Lovers? is that connection now impossible for us to access?

it's better than a christmas morning and proportionally filled with more anticipation

are you to become a ghost that i look for over my shoulder, never to become actual reality? will you ever show up in front of me, my door again?

i hope we can give a finger to fate (different version of previous writing)

even with too much distance between us, we are both held in our individual but connected worlds of raw sadness and pain. no matter where we move, we reach each other's emotion owned minds and hold each other inside our shared heart wrenching without intending to have arrived there in the first place. we find ourselves here without wanting to be as we make unintended mistakes and misunderstand each other (yet, our mistakes are only natural). but i know that your intentions are good, and i hope that you see that mine are too. i only wish that you could truly feel my heart's feelings for you, and help me stop this pain until we can't avoid it anymore; when you leave. when fate fulfills me with the blunt edge of a bat and my mistakes. i feel this distance negating, mind owning emotion now as you probably feel it sleeping, and we'll feel it when our horrible absence of control draws us more than 3,000 miles apart while you live your dream without me. that no longer includes me? (this entageling pain traverses any distance with power that makes you understand god.) you leaving me seems almost totally out of my hands now, and it literally makes me want to scream! (we're acted on by the hands of god pulling us together when strong stiches with the gravity of this situation pulling them flesh out of flesh. not a drop too much.) i wont have a single bit of control as you hold me here in this hole of self(, this vate of passion and emotion,) no matter the horrible distances. in fact, your grip may get stronger, farther reaching with distances more distant by the days you're away, apperantely farther by the monotone of the unavoidable present without you, where the mundane consumes any super powers that i might've had to endure this mess. and i sit, with fingers of fists driven into lover's palms, helpless. the tragedy, the pain of concentration of almost t form solidity monopolizes any site of anything outside of horrible pain. (distance and desire are the thieves of control. like in dreams where a punch of self defense can never land. i'm wrapped in bondage wraps to freely feel the world kill my choice to help us in every moment.) hearing you say that you bought your plane ticket and paid for your seminar makes me want to die it hurts so bad! with every word affirming such truths of the way things WILL BE, and with every action that we take and don't take and contemplate taking here now spread us apart farther and farther as we assume the positions that we've ascribed ourselves (inherited). as i fuck up. as you react over sensatively. as we waste time apart (whether necessary or not), we confirm the inevitable result of all of our fruitless efforts to realize something else. it is said (i am told by the mouth of reality) that you'll soon leave me, but we can do somethings differently than they would've otherwise been determined to have played out. i'm opening my heart to you now because i love you, now that i'm ready and understand how to open. can we change our fate? please open up for me and give me one last try, the being that holds you as his soul. please, before it's too late and you're gone. i love you.

when it comes down to it, all we want to do is be with each other, our lover, before fate tears the stitches our of our chest.

you calling me doens't mean that you're conceeding your pride, it just means that we haven't forgotten that we love each other the way we do.

what am i doing to myself and the people around me?